Inevitable Regrets
by halolikeanangel
Summary: He had known this day was coming, it was inevitable really. You couldn’t fall in love with the boy-who-lived and not know that this day would come. Still, he should have told him how he felt, before it was too late. DMHP. VERY SHORT ONE SHOT.


I do not own these characters, only this small snapshot into their fictional lives

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He had known this day was coming, it was inevitable really. You couldn't fall in love with the boy-who-lived and not know that this day would come, especially if he had spent the best part of his life hating you. Somehow though, Draco hadn't expected it to come so soon. They had been happy. Well perhaps happy was too strong a word, contended perhaps or simply, complete. They had never _really_ gotten along, not in the conventional sense, not even after the war when they had both decided to clear the slate. Not even after that first time, fumbling drunkenly with their robes, desperate to rid themselves of any barrier standing between the delicious sensations of flesh on flesh. It had been hard and fast, passionate, no gentle kisses or reverent touches, just the fire which had consumed them from day one burning brighter as they explored new ways to fuel it. There were never any loving words exchanged, no heartfelt declarations, they had somehow moved beyond enemies but had never made it to friends, jumping straight to lovers. It drove both their families and friends to insanity, trying to understand why they stayed together. There was just something different, something that only they could give each other. Neither had strayed, and despite the rather obvious lack of romance or promises, none could deny that they were inexplicably, madly in love.

That's why today was such a shock. Looking back, Draco could clearly see the signs, the gradual lack of interest in any form of physical contact, the distant look in those green eyes as they sat silently at the breakfast table together. Eventually, Harry had simply begun to withdraw from any kind of interaction, dinner dates were cancelled and he often chose to stay at home while Draco went out with friends. It had been painful. Draco had desperately clung to whatever was left of their relationship until the bitter end. Whilst he had never told Harry exactly how he felt, he was sure he had made it perfectly clear; he had stuck around, looked after him when he was sick, put up with his annoying Gryffindor friends and Weasels, it should have been obvious how he felt. In the end though, it had all been for naught. He was now standing, staring pleadingly into cold, distant green eyes and he felt like he was dying.

"You can't do this to me Harry," he whispered desperately. "We were good together, so maybe we argued a lot, but hey at least it was fun!"

Harry's expression remained impassive, green eyes unfeeling as he stared coldly into the distance.

"I know I wasn't the best boyfriend", even he knew that was a bit of an understatement.

"I could have been better. If you wanted declarations of love I could have done that! If you had wanted roses and romance, all you had to do was say the word!"

He diverted his eyes slightly, couldn't face looking into that uncaring gaze for a second longer. "I thought we were beyond all that though. I never asked to tell me you loved me Harry, I just knew it! Why else would you stay with me huh?"

He laughed to himself at this thought, Harry still did not respond.

"I thought you trusted me Harry. We could always talk about anything. If I thought you were being a stupid noble Gryffindor, I told you, and if you thought I was being a selfish bastard, you never held back."

He was getting desperate now, the words flowing on their own, almost forcing their way out in effort to be heard. "Why didn't you tell me what was going on? Maybe I could have done something, fixed it! But you selfishly kept it all to yourself and now I have to suffer, never knowing if I could have prevented this."

Draco's vision was starting to blur with angry tears which he violently swiped away with his fist, wetting the edge of his black robes.

"I hate you… you bastard." His voice had somehow dropped even lower, coming out merely as a hiss between clenched teeth.

Still Harry did not respond, his mouth set into a straight line, eyes never wavering from their fixed point.

It felt like hours that he stood there, gazing into the eyes of the only man to ever hurt him this way. He had never trusted enough to put his heart on the line, and even now, when it was ending, he couldn't bring himself to say the words.

Except he knew this was his last chance, if he did not say it now, he would never have that chance again. Harry was not coming back, this much was clear, and if only for his own sanity, he had to tell him the whole truth.

He moved closer, just marginally, so that he could whisper the words he needed to say so that no one else would hear him in his hour of weakness.

"If you want me to say it, I will Harry…" he closed his eyes, breathing deeply as he summoned all of his internal strength to finally say the next few words.

"You meant more to me than other person I've ever known or will ever know…"

"I love you Harry"

He leaned forward slightly and pressed his lips gently against the unresponsive mouth of the only man he had ever loved.

He straightened, drawing on his polished upbringing to gather his internal strength, and gently lowered the white lid of the casket before walking away.


End file.
